Friday, 23 January 2009

Suits You


More excitement on the wedding front - the first fitting of the suits for the boys in the wedding party! Again, not your usual trip to Moss Bros, oooh no, Elle and The Doctor have hooked up with a wedding suit hire company that comes to the house!!! So, yes, poor Moonshine got a bit sideswiped while I rushed around making coffee and sandwiches while the wedding party boys - The Doctor, his brother who's Best Man, The Toyboy Trucker as Father of the Bride, and J and T the ushers - were measured and tweaked and primped and preened by an extremely pretty girl from the outfitters. Despite all the early grizzles and moans that it was all too girly and not for real men and surely any old suit would do, they absolutely loved it and were soon swaggering around like a load of Gok Wans!

The suits are all going to be the same - long coats, baggy-ish trousers, white shirts, cream, gold and scarlet embroidered waistcoats and scarlet floppy ties. The Doctor's suit is going to be gold and the rest are in black. Even in the embryo stages they looked absolutely stunning - so unbelievably glamorous - and, yes, I had to sneak off and have a little cry...

The next fitting will be in a couple of weeks and I can't wait.

The invites must have arrived okay because we've already had a few phone calls along the lines of:
"Thanks for the invitation - it sounds fantastic - can't wait - er - but you only put me and Horace down and not the kids..."
"Er - yes, we all really want you and Horace to be there and -"
"But Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo aren't on there and they so love a party and they're really looking forward to it. Was it a mistake?"
"No."
"Sorry?"
"Um, look - Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo aren't on the invitation because they're not invited."
"What! But the kiddies all enjoy a wedding! They love to run around and mess about and dance and -"
"Exactly. Sorry, but neither Elle nor The Doctor want any children at the wedding."
"You've got to be joking?"
"No, deadly serious. It's their choice, their decision. This is to be an adults-only affair. A child-free zone."
"But that's not fair!"
"It's their wedding, they're paying a fortune for their perfect day to be perfect - and they don't want children there. They really want you to be there to help them celebrate their marriage, but they don't feel it's suitable for children."
SILENCE
"Look, it's going to be a long day, a lot of eating and drinking and various grown-up things going on - an awful lot of weddings these days don't have children - you can surely find a baby-sitter?"
"Maybe - but we've always had children at weddings and - "
"Elle and The Doctor decided they didn't want anyone's little darlings yelling, shouting, or crying through the service, messing around with the very, very expensive food, running around or doing knee-slides across the dance-floor - I'm sure Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo will be really well behaved, but not everyone is as good a parent as you. So, sorry, no children..."
SILENCE.
"We'll put you and Horace down as a yes, then shall we?"
"Yes - well, maybe - I don't know if we can both come - one of us may have to stay at home with Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo..."
"Let's hope not - but you've got 3 months to sort out childcare, haven't you? Looking forward to seeing you. Love to Horace. Bye!"

Yes, we all knew this no-children thing was going to be contentious. But Elle and The Doctor have maintained right from the start that they only wanted adults, and as far as I'm concerned it's their day and I can honestly see their point of view. Hopefully most of the guests will eventually see it too.

The one thing that should cheer all the invitees up is that as well as no children it's a no-presents wedding too. Elle and The Doctor say they have everything they could possibly want or need, and all they want is for friends and family to be there to have a wonderful time at their all-day and almost-all-night celebrations. So, even if the kiddies are no-no, at least those on the invitation list won't have to fork out for a gift.

I really, really hope that'll go some way to mollifying those who at the moment are more than a little affronted at the exclusion of their offspring - but somehow I doubt it...

20 comments:

Jan Jones said...

The suits sound gorgeous. As for the NBK rule - it's their wedding! Why the hell shouldn't they have it as they want!

Margaret McDonagh said...

The suits sound - and look - amazing. So exciting!!

As for the no children rule, it makes perfect sense to me, a) because it is THEIR day and they should do what they want and b) given the unique and wonderful nature of the day, combining the best of both cultures, it may be a long day for children.

Have a good writing week - and don't mention the D word!!

Much love,
Mags xxxx

Christina Jones said...

Jan - the suits *are* fantastic - I think I'm soaking up this glam wedding by osmosis as ours was so cheap-and-cheerful - and so far everyone has stayed stress-free and happy. Agree entirely about the NBK rule - but there are volcanos rumbling in the family... I'll make a story out of it though, so I'm quite happy!

Mags - knew you'd love the suits - and exactly! With all the stuff they've got going on on the day most kids will be asleep or crying with exhaustion before it's half over. Anyway - we've had a few calls now saying how thrilled they are to be able to leave the kiddies at home and PARTY. Not mentioning the D word. Am going to ask for the extra time today - gulp...

SamMakeup said...

suits look gorgeous, very suave!

as for the no children, good for them!

We prefer NOT to take ours, as it is a rare opportunity to be identified as ourselves rather than as parents!!!

Having said that, I did have to take a 12 day old Jacob with me in September to a wedding, but he was rather premature, and should technically have been inside me!!!!

I think a lot of parents forget that their own Snot, Puke, Crap and Mungo's 'darling antics' aren't usually darling to anyone else....

And besides who wants to hear 'but I don't like potatoes/carrots/broccoli' or whatever else is on the plate that isn't processed plastic chicken or chips!!!

Mummy said...

The suits sound wonderful.....as for the children, I agree totally. It's their day and it's their decision. If people can't come because of that then so be it, but their desicion should be accepted and respected. xx

Christina Jones said...

sam - yes, I agree about the children - I can just imagine the cries of woe when S,C,P& M are faced with a plate of Aloo Chole etc. And I think a lot of the adults will eventually relish it being a kiddie-free party - there's a casino and all sorts of other entertainment that really would bore the pants off children. Can understand you taking Jacob (bless! congratulations!) - Elle does have one really good friend whose baby is due on April 15th - 4 days after the wedding - so she'll have hers with her one way or the other!!!

Mummy - thanks. The suits are superb. Elle and The Doctor have now said they'll have a children-friendly second party after their honeymoon, so hopefully we won't have alienated EVERYONE....

ChrisH said...

No children? Sounds like the perfect wedding to me (slinks off before being rained with cyber-stones.)

Christina Jones said...

ChrisH - I'm with you, so make room behind the cyber barricades!!!

Debs said...

It all sounds so incredibly glamorous. Love the pic of the suit, so beautiful.

I think the best weddings are the ones without screaming children messing about and driving their parents, as well as everyone else completely nuts. Good for Elle and the Doctor.

Christina Jones said...

debs- thank you - it is all rather lovely... but be warned, you'll probably be pig-sick of it by the time I've bored you rigid with the wedding pics!!! And yes, when Elle was little I did relish those rare child-free grown-up occasions when I could go out and not have to worry if she'd fallen over/drowned/hit somebody/eaten something poisonous...

Helen said...

Sounds like your all going to have a lovely day and I know because I had the NBK rule for my own wedding and it was such a perfect day, everybody was so relaxed and enjoyed a brillaint day, yet I do remember a few noses pushed out of joint but that was soon forgotten when the parents realised they were haveing such a good time. Best Wishes for you all on your daughters perfect day as well xx

Christina Jones said...

Helen - thank you so much!!! You've cheered me up - it's great to hear from someone who's personally survived the NBK rule - and still had friends at the end of it. I'll pass this on to Elle - and yes, I'm sure it'll all work out wonderfully in the end.

The Write Woman said...

My youngest daughter (second one married, last year!) also had the NBK rule, and it worked perfectly. The only exception was made for an almost-newborn baby (fair enough!). Hope everything is wonderful for Elle and the Doctor - it's such an exciting time for you all. We have the third and final wedding to look forward to this October! Will seem quite odd,not having any wedding preparations going on after that!

Christina Jones said...

The Write Woman - thanks so much for letting me know that the NBK rule does work! We've had one outright refusal so far (from a VERY close family member) but otherwise people seem to be coming round to seeing Elle and The Doctor's pov. Good luck with yours in Oct - 3 weddings in just over a year - blimey! - you must have some stamina! I'm frazzled with just this one...

mememememeee said...

They'll get over it. Kids are always invited to the Indian weddings I go to and I hate it. They all hover around me thinking I will entertain them and when i don't I am suitably punished. (And I can't hit them because their mother is my Dad's Uncle's wife's step brother's grandson and I might get into trouble for it.

Kudos for Elle and the Doctor for sticking to their guns.

And the suits sound AMAZING!

No wedding gifts? Colour me impressed. Have they stated 'no boxed gifts' on the invitation?

Christina Jones said...

mememememeee - OMG! You DO understand!!! It took me all my powers of persuasion to get The Doctor NOT to include "no boxed gifts" on the invitations!!! This, I was told, is common at Indian weddings in the hope that everyone stumps up dosh instead. Too brazen for me, I'm afraid - even though the last NBG Indian wedding Elle and The Doctor attended apparently gave the bride and groom something in the region of 3K!!! Laughed at your multi-relative rection to "little darlings" too - fortunately we won't have that problem!!!

Phillipa said...

Chris - I have to go off topic here to say that Happy Birthday was AMAZING.

mememememeee said...

I always try to be empathetic ;)

The whole 'no boxed gifts' thing is am excuse for all relatives to compete with each other to give the most money as a gift, without actually ever telling anyone what you gave. It's like a mind reading game of epic proportions. My sister and I can't help but laugh and point when we see a bunch of our elderly relatives competing with each other.

No kids and no competion-sounds like a dream!

Christina Jones said...

Phillipa - THANK YOU. It means so much coming from a fellow writer. If only the poor thing had had more exposure other people might have thought so too... Ah, well - there's always Moonshine - VBG!!!!

me x 5 - hah! so the older Indian rellies might be "shamed" into making cash donations on the quiet even yet, then? Fascinating, this culture stuff...

womagwriter said...

Glad the preparations are going well! As for the no-kids rule, the next time its questioned you could point out they could use the money they will save due to the no presents clause, on paying a babysitter. That should shut 'em up.