Friday 23 January 2009
More excitement on the wedding front - the first fitting of the suits for the boys in the wedding party! Again, not your usual trip to Moss Bros, oooh no, Elle and The Doctor have hooked up with a wedding suit hire company that comes to the house!!! So, yes, poor Moonshine got a bit sideswiped while I rushed around making coffee and sandwiches while the wedding party boys - The Doctor, his brother who's Best Man, The Toyboy Trucker as Father of the Bride, and J and T the ushers - were measured and tweaked and primped and preened by an extremely pretty girl from the outfitters. Despite all the early grizzles and moans that it was all too girly and not for real men and surely any old suit would do, they absolutely loved it and were soon swaggering around like a load of Gok Wans!
The suits are all going to be the same - long coats, baggy-ish trousers, white shirts, cream, gold and scarlet embroidered waistcoats and scarlet floppy ties. The Doctor's suit is going to be gold and the rest are in black. Even in the embryo stages they looked absolutely stunning - so unbelievably glamorous - and, yes, I had to sneak off and have a little cry...
The next fitting will be in a couple of weeks and I can't wait.
The invites must have arrived okay because we've already had a few phone calls along the lines of:
"Thanks for the invitation - it sounds fantastic - can't wait - er - but you only put me and Horace down and not the kids..."
"Er - yes, we all really want you and Horace to be there and -"
"But Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo aren't on there and they so love a party and they're really looking forward to it. Was it a mistake?"
"Um, look - Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo aren't on the invitation because they're not invited."
"What! But the kiddies all enjoy a wedding! They love to run around and mess about and dance and -"
"Exactly. Sorry, but neither Elle nor The Doctor want any children at the wedding."
"You've got to be joking?"
"No, deadly serious. It's their choice, their decision. This is to be an adults-only affair. A child-free zone."
"But that's not fair!"
"It's their wedding, they're paying a fortune for their perfect day to be perfect - and they don't want children there. They really want you to be there to help them celebrate their marriage, but they don't feel it's suitable for children."
"Look, it's going to be a long day, a lot of eating and drinking and various grown-up things going on - an awful lot of weddings these days don't have children - you can surely find a baby-sitter?"
"Maybe - but we've always had children at weddings and - "
"Elle and The Doctor decided they didn't want anyone's little darlings yelling, shouting, or crying through the service, messing around with the very, very expensive food, running around or doing knee-slides across the dance-floor - I'm sure Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo will be really well behaved, but not everyone is as good a parent as you. So, sorry, no children..."
"We'll put you and Horace down as a yes, then shall we?"
"Yes - well, maybe - I don't know if we can both come - one of us may have to stay at home with Snot, Crap, Puke and Mungo..."
"Let's hope not - but you've got 3 months to sort out childcare, haven't you? Looking forward to seeing you. Love to Horace. Bye!"
Yes, we all knew this no-children thing was going to be contentious. But Elle and The Doctor have maintained right from the start that they only wanted adults, and as far as I'm concerned it's their day and I can honestly see their point of view. Hopefully most of the guests will eventually see it too.
The one thing that should cheer all the invitees up is that as well as no children it's a no-presents wedding too. Elle and The Doctor say they have everything they could possibly want or need, and all they want is for friends and family to be there to have a wonderful time at their all-day and almost-all-night celebrations. So, even if the kiddies are no-no, at least those on the invitation list won't have to fork out for a gift.
I really, really hope that'll go some way to mollifying those who at the moment are more than a little affronted at the exclusion of their offspring - but somehow I doubt it...